The Wedding Essentials

The Engagement Ring

Engagement ring is a very symbolic and precious ring given by a man to his fiancée prior to the wedding. It signifies serious commitment and deeper intention to marry. In earlier times (up to the 80s) dowry is customarily given by the boy’s family to the girl upon betrothal, but in recent years, this tradition ceases so the engagement ring is treated anyway as the modern version of dowry.

The Arrhae

In recent times, weddings, especially in the Philippines, opted to use coins than arrhae, it symbolizes groom’s ability to support his upcoming family, but much updated version of the coins, says that it symbolizes a give-and-take relationship where couples should dedicate themselves to each other through thick and thin and should support and remain devoted to each other for better of for worse. Just how many coins should be used in the ceremony? Some wedding organizing experts say, it depends on the couple how many coins they will use in the ceremony—well except 30 pieces because this is the number of silver Judas accepted for betraying Jesus, so in reverence to our faith, you must avoid this number.

Veil

This is a white cloth, resembles a tulle mantilla worn by Catholic women during Spanish era, put on the bride’s head and the groom’s shoulder to indicate that from now on they are no longer two bodies but one. It also symbolizes eternal devotion and fidelity.

Cord

This is a white knot draped on the shoulder of the couple to bind them as one, usually done in an eight-number symbol to denote everlasting love and prosperity.

Candle

Among the wedding elements, the tradition of lighting the unity candles in a wedding ceremony came only in the 20th century, this idea spurred from the Christian belief that the light from God will forever shine on the couple’s journey to eternal union and happiness. The superstitious belief that if the Candles’ light blow up and died down implies bad omen is unfounded and untrue.

The Ring

A wedding ring, no doubt, is the most significant and symbolic jewelry a person can wear through out his or her life. The circular band symbolizes the lasting nature of the marriage. Anglican and Catholic religions have separate meaning of the ring during the exchange of vows. In Anglican religion the ring means a “worldly position that a husband share to his wife” while in the Catholic ritual, the ring means “sign of deepest commitment and fidelity”. Coins and Rings, in the correct sense, are carried by the mother of the groom and the best man respectively.

The idea of having a young page boy carrying coins and rings emerged only in recent years, not as part of the tradition but merely as addition to the entourage to balance the flower girls, but historically, it is part of the duty of the best man to carry the rings because he is the groom’s personal assistant in the wedding, since it is impossible for the groom to carry it during the ceremony, the task falls on the shoulder of the best man, while the coins symbolize the “treasure” of the groom to be shared to his wife, so must be handled by his direct family and because children directly come from their mother’s womb, she will take care of the coins as part of the sentimental ritual of the wedding.

Confetti in the ceremony

Confetti means “confectionary” or sweets in Italian language. Traditionally, couples are showered with sweet-coated rice after the ceremony to signify fertility, prosperity and everlasting happiness. But today, rice is rarely use so flower petals are use to shower the new couple instead. But in some Philippines’ provinces, throwing of rice is still practice together with the drinking of water with a“kalipayan” plant.

The Wedding Cake & Toast

Usually the Couple’s sharing of wedding cake and the wedding toast are combined in the program to wish the couple good luck and happiness ahead. The bride with her husband’s hand will hold the knife and slice one piece of the cake and share before the cheering guests. Before the “cheers’ could be heard, the best man, will utter wishes for the couple and lead the raising of a glass of champagne or wine. Wedding cake should be cut and distributed to the guests as dessert. According to different wedding etiquette books, a wedding cake should never, never carried back to the house.

Bridal Gown

In Filipino tradition, the bride should not suppose to fit it before the wedding day because it signifies tragedy or disaster but the most cherished tradition of this gown is for the groom not to see it before the wedding. Bridal Gown usually comes in white or ivory color to denote happiness, joy and purity of the heart and intention. But in modern times, brides may wear a wedding dress based on their choice of color. Philippine celebrities like Lucy Torres, Regine Velasquez and Charlene Gonzales wore enchanting wedding gowns out of their color choices. Lucy wore a revealing silver blue gown, Regine Velasquez in a bright red wedding gown which she imported from the U.S and Charlene Gonzales don a pale peach satin bridal gown.

Flowers/Bouquet

No matter how simple the ceremony is, Flowers undoubtedly bring life to the event, making it one of the most important elements in the wedding ceremony. Most couples choose flowers based on its symbolic meaning.

Bridal Rose: Happiness.

White Carnation: Innocence.

Myrtle: Love.

White Chrysanthemum: Truth.

Clover: Good luck.

Gladiolus: Sincerity.

White Lily: Virginity.

Pink Rose: Perfection.

Stephanotis: Happiness in marriage.

Wheat: Fertility.

Lavender: Devotion.

Purple Violet: Faithfulness.

Sunflower: Adoration.

Veronica: Fidelity.

Daisy: Innocence.

Wedding Favors

The tradition of giving gifts dates back from the earlier times when couples are still dependent to their parents, so it is believe the newlyweds will start from the scratch, hence the significance of gifts, but in the modern world where most couples married late, it is already assumed they are totally independent and can afford to buy their furniture, home appliances and other needs. So the gift giving is entirely on the discretion of the guests and the couple should never ask the guests to do so, it is always a bad manner.

Gift registry aims to help the guests pick the right gift without duplicating other items therefore avoiding gift disasters where couples might receive 5 rice cookers, 4 electric pots, 3 television sets, but it always a guest’s choice to buy one. Etiquette books suggest that a gift registry should never attach to the wedding invitation, protocol says it should only serve as a notice and should only be announced in the wedding website or should be handled by the couple’s friends and relatives. (see the entry: Bridal Gifts). There are modern couples who will ask their guests to donate to charities instead of buying them gifts, which is very noble.

Music

Couples can experiment any love song at the reception, some of them may even hire a live band or orchestra to fill the air with soothing music, but not during the solemnity of vow at the church. Catholic parishes in the Philippines are now very strict with the type of music to be used during the ceremony. Priests maintained that music should remain solemn with lyrics pointing to God’s love.

Motif

Motif is often decided by the bride, it is the color that significantly speaks something for the wedding, it is not just a bride’s favorite color or her friends and relatives’ suggestions, but something that has significance in the real sense of the word. For example, my choice of a wedding motif is crimson, a bright-red color, because it represents happiness, fertility, abundance and harmony.

Wedding Theme

In the Philippines, I rarely heard couples used a wedding theme. But this is a smart decision to have a theme because it makes the whole organizing and planning easier and more coordinated with a touch of elegance. A theme is where all the elements of the wedding are based and followed, so there’s a smooth order of event and the organizing is more creative and brilliant. Even a small, intimate wedding may turn into spectacular and stylish if conducted with a theme.