While there’s no specific rule to follow when organizing a wedding — you can be as creative and stylish as you want, after all it’s your special day–but there are some points/proper etiquette to consider.
Here are some of those points and etiquette:
WEDDING ATTENDANTS:
It’s your big day! So if you want to have two Maids of Honour and two Best Men then it’s up to you. So as long as your attendants know their roles in your special day. Wedding attendants act as supporters of the bride and groom from day one of the preparation up to the last minute of the wedding reception. They will stand on the receiving line at the reception to welcome the guests.
CEREMONY
You can be as creative as you want. With the exemption of the Church rites (liturgy, vows, etc) every detail of the event can be revised based on your style and taste. You may add other elements and surprises during the reception.
Tossing of the bouquet maybe reinvent into something different like putting a cash prize on it then throw it before the “von voyage” part (the ritual where the couple should be allowed to leave the area first on the way to their honeymoon while the guests look on and extend their warm wishes), it is not necessary to gather the singles to catch the bouquet, that’s very traditional and worn-out, think of other creative style which is comfortable to everybody.
Tossing of the bouquet maybe reinvent into something different like putting a cash prize on it then throw it before the “von voyage” part (the ritual where the couple should be allowed to leave the area first on the way to their honeymoon while the guests look on and extend their warm wishes), it is not necessary to gather the singles to catch the bouquet, that’s very traditional and worn-out, think of other creative style which is comfortable to everybody.
RECESSIONAL MARCH
The newlyweds, their parents and their wedding attendants must be allowed to leave the church first before the whole congregation. Guests should wait for the entourage to leave the vicinity of the church before heading to the reception venue.
It is always inappropriate for the guests to arrive first at the venue ahead of the couple, their parents and wedding attendants. Remember, they will stand in the receiving line to welcome guests, if the guests will arrive first in the venue how can they perform their duties accordingly?
It is always inappropriate for the guests to arrive first at the venue ahead of the couple, their parents and wedding attendants. Remember, they will stand in the receiving line to welcome guests, if the guests will arrive first in the venue how can they perform their duties accordingly?
PHOTO SHOOT
There are modern couples who choose to have picture taking at the reception venue rather than in the church. But for the sake of photo memories, the newlyweds may have their photo taken at the altar after the ceremony.
You can have your rounds of pose at the reception venue before the meal starts. Others choose to have their photo ops at the stylish and elegant location before or after the ceremony. Having a series of photo shoots at the altar may attract tension from the newlyweds as they are still preparing their nerves for another “show” at the reception.
After the signing of registry at the church, a recessional march of the couple, their parents and attendants will follow which allow little time for the photo session.
You can have your rounds of pose at the reception venue before the meal starts. Others choose to have their photo ops at the stylish and elegant location before or after the ceremony. Having a series of photo shoots at the altar may attract tension from the newlyweds as they are still preparing their nerves for another “show” at the reception.
After the signing of registry at the church, a recessional march of the couple, their parents and attendants will follow which allow little time for the photo session.
MOTHER OF THE BRIDE
Wedding etiquette dictates that the mother of the bride has the privilege to pick her dress color first before anybody else.
The dress shade may not be necessarily ivory, white or that of the wedding motif but according to her taste and preferences. She will be accompanied by her son during the bridal entourage march at the aisle as her husband will walk behind their daughter.
The dress shade may not be necessarily ivory, white or that of the wedding motif but according to her taste and preferences. She will be accompanied by her son during the bridal entourage march at the aisle as her husband will walk behind their daughter.
MOTHER OF THE GROOM
Traditionally, she will be the one to carry the arrhae of the couple, though in recent years this was relegated to a page boy.
The significance of this practice is that the groom’s mother symbolizes his origin, manhood and treasure and because arrhae signifies his treasure that he would offer to his bride, it is just proper to let it be handled and carried by his mother, it is more sentimental and meaningful and implies high respect to the mother than a page boy carrying it.
But if it is too much for the mother of the groom to perform this task, the arrhae should be carried by the Best Man (if there are two Best Man) in addition to the wedding rings. The wedding rings should be, and always be, carried and handled by the Best Man. The mother of the groom will walk down the aisle with her husband and find their seat on the front row before the congregation.
The significance of this practice is that the groom’s mother symbolizes his origin, manhood and treasure and because arrhae signifies his treasure that he would offer to his bride, it is just proper to let it be handled and carried by his mother, it is more sentimental and meaningful and implies high respect to the mother than a page boy carrying it.
But if it is too much for the mother of the groom to perform this task, the arrhae should be carried by the Best Man (if there are two Best Man) in addition to the wedding rings. The wedding rings should be, and always be, carried and handled by the Best Man. The mother of the groom will walk down the aisle with her husband and find their seat on the front row before the congregation.
THE SIGNIFICANCE
A groom must choose his own brother for a role of a best man. No wedding etiquette books say that wedding attendants should be single, choosing them has something to do with close family ties.
If a groom has a living brother, no matter how old he is at the time of wedding, it is customarily to pick him before anybody else. The significance of having a blood brother of the groom as his best man is that the latter will be the one to carry the wedding rings.
If they are blood related, it would be more meaningful to have it in his position as it denotes close family bonding that will be continued to the married life of his brother. The significance of the mother of the groom carrying the arrhae is that arrhae symbolizes treasure to provide as well as responsibility of the groom to his future family, since sons considered their mother as their priceless treasure to whom they originated, it would be more meaningful if she will carry the arrhae.
This very meaningful gesture also denotes that the mother of the groom welcomed her new daughter-in-law into their family with unconditional love, support and acceptance.
If a groom has a living brother, no matter how old he is at the time of wedding, it is customarily to pick him before anybody else. The significance of having a blood brother of the groom as his best man is that the latter will be the one to carry the wedding rings.
If they are blood related, it would be more meaningful to have it in his position as it denotes close family bonding that will be continued to the married life of his brother. The significance of the mother of the groom carrying the arrhae is that arrhae symbolizes treasure to provide as well as responsibility of the groom to his future family, since sons considered their mother as their priceless treasure to whom they originated, it would be more meaningful if she will carry the arrhae.
This very meaningful gesture also denotes that the mother of the groom welcomed her new daughter-in-law into their family with unconditional love, support and acceptance.
GIFT ETIQUETTE
All wedding etiquette books and online wedding tips I read explained that it is boorish and suggest bad behavior asking gifts from your guests, after all you are inviting them to share your joy and enthusiasm on the happiest event in your life and not because you will expecting something from them.
It is the guests’ sole discretion to bring gift or not. If you arrange a bridal registry from the major department stores, do not include the bridal registry card when you send the invitation, it suggests impropriety, try to announce it instead in your website or let your friends and relatives pass the information to the guests they know.
It is the guests’ sole discretion to bring gift or not. If you arrange a bridal registry from the major department stores, do not include the bridal registry card when you send the invitation, it suggests impropriety, try to announce it instead in your website or let your friends and relatives pass the information to the guests they know.
ATTITUDE IN SENDING GIFTS
Wedding gifts maybe brought to the reception but this is not really necessary. Guests may send their gifts before or after the wedding day.
RECEPTION
If you are marrying on a tight budget, it is more practical to cut the number of guests but if you want to accommodate all your colleagues, friends and relatives and still want to save something for the future, choose to serve less than expensive dishes.
You may choose to have a garden reception with canapes or pasta and fruit drinks instead of a sit-down, formal reception. Make sure everybody feel comfortable while at the reception, never organize a program which send tremor to every guest’s pulses, let them feel the beauty and quietness of the surrounding while enjoying your event.
Prepare a seating chart at the entrance area of the reception venue to guide your guests on their seating assignment.
You may choose to have a garden reception with canapes or pasta and fruit drinks instead of a sit-down, formal reception. Make sure everybody feel comfortable while at the reception, never organize a program which send tremor to every guest’s pulses, let them feel the beauty and quietness of the surrounding while enjoying your event.
Prepare a seating chart at the entrance area of the reception venue to guide your guests on their seating assignment.
MONETARY GIFT
In a typical Filipino wedding, couples always have a prosperity dance, but there are individuals who are not comfortable with this arrangement. If you are one of these people who detest prosperity dance, think of other alternative.
You may create or set-up a wedding shop near the entrance of the reception venue where you can display some personalized items related to your wedding (a storybook of your wedding, a CD compilation of songs with significance to your wedding, etc.), others choose to put a wedding wishing well or bird cage instead for guests to put their money gift.
You may create or set-up a wedding shop near the entrance of the reception venue where you can display some personalized items related to your wedding (a storybook of your wedding, a CD compilation of songs with significance to your wedding, etc.), others choose to put a wedding wishing well or bird cage instead for guests to put their money gift.
CONNECT WITH YOUR GUESTS
It is always appropriate for the newlyweds to connect with their guests at the reception. In most Filipino weddings, it is very rare for the bride and groom to go around and exchange pleasantries with their guests aside from the table hopping (for picture taking) portion, they remained secluded in their seats and seemed restless and nervous.
According to a wedding guide book, though this is very normal for couples, it is inappropriate to let your guests be entertained by your relatives and attendants. After the meal, roam around and chat with everybody, be comfortable in your own wedding, relax with your guests, engage in good conversation and enjoy the rest of the day with your new spouse and relatives on both sides.
According to a wedding guide book, though this is very normal for couples, it is inappropriate to let your guests be entertained by your relatives and attendants. After the meal, roam around and chat with everybody, be comfortable in your own wedding, relax with your guests, engage in good conversation and enjoy the rest of the day with your new spouse and relatives on both sides.
WEDDING SPEECH
This is always reserve to the best man, the father of the groom and the groom, each of them will deliver a speech during the reception. But if you (the groom) are not the speech-type person you may choose to do the VTR before hand.
THANK YOU NOTES
For the brides, this is always a must. Send thank you notes to the people who attended and those who send gifts and the people who have a direct hand in the preparation.
Show your appreciation by producing cards with a handwritten thank you message.
Show your appreciation by producing cards with a handwritten thank you message.
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