Wedding Manners

As the 21st century rolled over, we had witnessed how modern technology influenced the evolution of tradition and culture in every nation, people's lifestyle change and the society's concept on social gathering and public events undergone a massive makeover.

One of these social events is the wedding.

In the Philippines, no major changes had taken place, most folks still preferred the old way -- "pamamanhikan" or asking the girl's hand from her parents, preparing a banquet for the reception, sit-down dinner, prosperity dance, throwing a bouquet, etcetera. Personally, I dreaded all of these stuff and if ever I could still get married, I would never want my wedding to organize that way, I want to be creative as much as I can.

Apart from the above ancient wedding rituals, there's something in the wedding that most couples/organizers forget to see -- the wedding etiquette.

I'd attended several weddings already and I'd noticed none of them observed proper wedding manners, but wedding etiquette is highly important and should never be taken for granted.

So if you are on your way planning your dream wedding, avoid being caught in a wedding etiquette blunder.

Here are some of the basic wedding manners that we must observed:

• All wedding etiquette books I'd read revealed that a bridal registry card should never be attached to the wedding invitation, wedding planning experts say it is highly inappropriate and suggests rudeness.
• If you are inviting a friend or relative who is already married, include his or her spouse, it's pretty appalling if you only invited one of them. Wedding is a social event and social etiquette dictates that someone coming to the gathering must have an escort, while a single guest does not necessarily bring a date or an escort, married couples are understood to appear together when attending a party, so do not let the significant other hang on the balance.
• Dispatch the wedding invitation approximately one month or three weeks before the wedding day.
• Never send your guests a message that you are desperately expecting a wedding present from them, it is extremely impolite.
• During dinner rehearsal discuss the duties of your attendants (brinede's maids, groom's men, maid of honour and best man), aside from assisting you during the ceremony, they should go ahead of everybody to the reception to stand at the receiving area to greet and welcome guests while the ushers and usherettes lead them to their respective seat.
• Though this is not mandatory, it is still highly appropriate to send your wedding attendants and those who helped during the preparation, a token or any form of present after the wedding to express your deepest gratitude for their assistance.
• If you already set up a bridal registry (and had announced it at your wedding site), and had prosperity dance at the reception, do not put additional burden to your guests by rounding the reception area selling something, it is a way too much. 
• Let the host announced after the church ceremony that guests must allow the bridal party to leave the church first.
• If you are very particular with the table assignment and grouping of guests, prepare an escort card. This is one of the most practical elements you must have in your wedding. This is quite modern and no weddings in the Philippines so far used this card but this is very important to identify your guests and can be properly ushered to their respective table and grouping.
• When you prepare your guest list and table assignment, group them according to preferences: officemates, relatives, friends. Do not group warring parties.
• Personally prepare your reception program, do not allow others to intrude the flow of the program unless they have something significance to contribute, after all it's your wedding and no one has the right to dictate what kind of style you want to create. As much as possible create an entertaining and memorable show that would never embarrass guests in the party.
• Make up your mind if you really want children at the reception, if not, handle this issue carefully since this is highly sensitive to parents who may want to tag their kids along. Specify in the invitation that your reception is an "adult gathering".
• Always send a thank you note to all who had helped and extended assistance before and during your big day, to your guests who attended and to those who send gifts even if they did not come to your wedding.